Tuesday, November 15, 2011

why do i want to live in the past ( my mood)

Ever had a weird feeling or sensation and instead of unconsciously dwelling into it, you just took a step back and wondered why are you feeling this way?! this is what i am feeling nowadays, i am feeling self judgmental :)

For the past 3 or 4 days i have had the weirdest feeling ever.... i feel that i just want to go and live back in late eighties early nineties !!! i miss everything about it. I miss watching t.v series with my family at night, miss warming chestnuts in winter, simply everything about what happened in the past... The best thing about what i feel is that when i try to recall the details, everything i remember is just mere happiness and serenity as if i just formatted everything bad that happened and remembered all the good!

Remembering the past is completely natural. Our memories of people, places and experiences can be precious and worth dwelling on from time to time. Even remembering the past in a negative way can be useful to us occasionally, as it's how we learn from our past experiences. However! some people live in the past most of the time which is not healthy. when people are living in the past, they are not appreciating the present and they are not preparing for how they are going to be happy and successful in the future.

For some people, continually living in the past can be a very nostalgic experience. They do it because they have fond memories of the ways things used to be and feel that their past was much happier than the present. They yearn for happier days gone by, how they more free with less responsibilities and their biggest concern was as simple as how not to be caught by the math teacher for not doing the homework :)

Then how can we help ourselves, people who like to live in the past like me...

Just appreciate what you have now, even if you feel like you don't have a lot to be thankful of right now, if you really think about it, you will find a lot that you don't appreciate. even if it is something as simple as having a conversation with someone you love, eating a nice meal with your family, or appreciating the comfort of your bed - those things should be appreciated ... god know maybe in the future you will long for the moments that you don't appreciate now... just remember that tomorrow ... today will be your past ;)

Times change, people grow older and there is always another reason for letting go. Pride will be repaired and mistakes will be forgiven, but only if there is a desire to change. Being stubborn and set in past will only make the transition to the next step much difficult.

The past is important to everyone and vital to understanding. if it wasn't for a foundation set in the past, lives built in the future would only be doomed to collapse. This is why it is good to embrace the past, but not live by it.

Am i being witty?!!!

Forget about what i said,,,, i am proud of my memories, all of them. they are what made me like this today... just insane person and loving being one.. :)

If living in the past is what's making you warm inside, what's making your inner child still alive then what the hell, embrace living in the past...

my only wish is that i give my son and my coming baby memories that they cherish for a lifetime, making them warm HUMANS and after all I thank every one from my family, friends and even abo shaaban el bawab for leaving a print in my full and vivid past... you put a smile on my face every time i remember you all....


Sunday, October 30, 2011

Reason behind writing

Well this is my first post and i am intimidated a bit of whomever will read this! I thought it would be easy and fulfilling to write what you feel but when i was put in the situation facing my simple computer buttons things got complicated, i felt exposed and overwhelmed and feared of being judged as you all now we live in a stereotypical and judgmental societies.

As we are all human have what is called inner voices, some people says its your conscious and other say its just yourself and soul i have always enjoyed listening to my inner voices and i've always felt that this is the genuine self with no tailoring or trimming. sometimes those inner voices shock you and sometimes they are even better than what you process and reveal to others :)  I sometimes wonder if i am a good person or a bad one or do i really have so many things inside and they don't relate. how do you judge a good person do you judge upon their inner self or the trimmed self that a person reveal and i always get back to one of god's bless upon us , how he definitely made humans never hear others inner voices and made this a divine power that he kept for himself. just give yourself a minute and imagine how life might have been if you heard what people felt inside and how they perceive you!!

For the picture above, i think its what defines what i want to end up doing, when i just look at it i feel liberated, in love and alive.
Just give me a minute to tell you how this picture makes me feel :)
its a simple sort of dance which beholds the sufis way of life ; to love , to desert ego and false self and all illusion so one can reach maturity and perfection. it is the sufis way to reach Allah the true and real.
The main thing about this dance is to whirl which is seen as our fundamental condition of our existence, everything in life revolves even our life itself from one's coming to the earth and his returning to it.
For those who doesn't know the symbols of dervishes the hat represents their tombstone of the ego, and while he is dancing he removes his black cloak he is spiritually reborn to the truth, and while he is whirling he is opening his hands embracing the whole humanity with love.

The human being has been created with love in order to love, this is how i see people should do really. I am not a sufi but really want my inner self to practice whirling for all the above reasons and when i just watch what is happening in the world nowadays i wish everyone should whirl from within.


With love :)